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How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words.
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Puns
Why is a fish easy to weigh?
Because it has its own scales.
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Puns
What dance was the most popular in 1776?
The indepen-dance.
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Current Events
Why did the mayor cancel his motorcade?
Because it rained on his parade.
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Animals
Where do pigs sleep during the summer?
In a ham-mock.
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Puns
Which fly makes films?
Stephen Speilbug.
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Animals
What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
Bugs bunny.
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Holiday
Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble?
Comet cleans sinks.
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Professional
What do cats wear to work?
Kitten heels.
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Food & Drinks
What do nosey peppers do?
They get jalapeño business!
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Puns
What do you give a pony with a cold?
Cough stirrup.
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Animals
Why do two skunks argue?
Because they like to kick up a stink.
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Animals
What sound does a grape make when an elephant steps on it?
None. It just lets out a little wine.
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Puns
What is a pig's favorite ballet?
Swine Lake.
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Entertainment
What's both a number one hit and a total failure?
A Blockbuster.
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Family
Surprise!!!!
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
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Outdoors
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they are shellfish.
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