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How do you talk to a giant?

Use big words.

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Puns

Why is a fish easy to weigh?

Because it has its own scales.

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Puns

What dance was the most popular in 1776?

The indepen-dance.

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a European mayor stands at a table in front of a crowdCurrent Events

Why did the mayor cancel his motorcade?

Because it rained on his parade.

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two spotted piglets sleep next to each other in the hayAnimals

Where do pigs sleep during the summer?

In a ham-mock.

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Puns

Which fly makes films?

Stephen Speilbug.

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The rabbit?Animals

What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

Bugs bunny.

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Holiday

Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble?

Comet cleans sinks.

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Professional

What do cats wear to work?

Kitten heels.

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The peppers?Food & Drinks

What do nosey peppers do?

They get jalapeño business!

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Puns

What do you give a pony with a cold?

Cough stirrup.

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Animals

Why do two skunks argue?

Because they like to kick up a stink.

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Animals

What sound does a grape make when an elephant steps on it?

None. It just lets out a little wine.

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Puns

What is a pig's favorite ballet?

Swine Lake.

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a man is scratching his head with a puzzled look on his faceEntertainment

What's both a number one hit and a total failure?

A Blockbuster.

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Surprised makeup?Family

Surprise!!!!

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

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Outdoors

Why do crabs never give to charity?

Because they are shellfish.

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