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How do you stop an angry elephant from charging?

Take away its credit cards.

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Puns

Wanna hear my favorite potassium joke?

K.

Puns

What do you get if you cross a hen with a dog?

Pooched eggs.

Puns

Where would you put an injured insect?

In an antbulance.

Food & Drinks

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef.

People

What do you call an 80-year-old cheerleader?

Old yeller.

Puns

Where do colds go on vacation?

Germ-any.

Sports

Why did someone ask the baseball player to punch them?

He was the designated hitter.

Current Events

What's a storm cloud's favorite Garth Brooks song?

When the Thunder Rolls.

Animals

What do you call a kangaroo's lazy joey?

Pouch potato.

Puns

Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa baas.

Puns

What kind of things does a farmer talk about when he is milking cows?

Udder nonsense.

Animals

How do you stop an angry elephant from charging?

Take away its credit cards.

bird drinking?Animals

How many beers does it take to get a tropical bird drunk?

Toucans!

Entertainment

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?

In dayscare.

Animals

What is a parrot's favorite game?

Hide and speak.

Animals

Why don't koalas categorize as bears?

They don't have the right koalafications.