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How do you raise a baby elephant?

With a forklift truck.

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Puns

If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?

Plenty of milk.

Family

What did the momma sea otter say to her ornery children?

You otter do what I say!

Entertainment

What do you call a musical about a boy who loses his shoe?

Cinderfella.

Political

What building always gets stains on it?

The White House.

Animals

What did the duck say as he was buying chapstick?

Just put it on my bill.

a soccer ball goes into the goal netSports

Why was the soccer player so good at keeping her house clean?

She was a sweeper.

two bunnies snuggle each other next to a miniature music boxAnimals

What is a bunny's favorite dance?

The lindy hop.

Holiday

Where do sports go on a Valentine's Day date?

The ball-et.

a kitten is leaning back in a sitting position with a surprised expressionPuns

What do cats use to take notes in meetings?

A scratch pad.

Mummy music?Music

What kind of music do mummies listen to?

Wrap music.

Animals

What kind of dog loves to eat?

A Chow.

Professional

What did the NSA employee say when her friend tried to tell her a new joke?

Heard it.

Sports

Where do old bowling balls end up?

In the gutter.

Sports

Why do baseball players have such great retirement plans?

They want to make sure their bases are covered.

catchers at lunch?Sports

Where do catchers sit at lunch?

Behind the plate.

Animals

What does a lion call an antelope?

Fast food.