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How do you measure a millennial?

In Insta-grams.

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crowded graveyard?Holiday

It's Crowded!

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in.

Music

What did the windmill say when it was asked what type of music was its favorite?

I'm a big fan of metal.

two dolphins are talking to each otherAnimals

What's the ocean's funniest animal?

A clownfish.

Puns

What kind of books do boats write?

Ferry tales.

Outdoors

What happens when grass goes out of town?

It's a field day!

Puns

Why did the pumpkin give up acting?

Its dreams were squashed.

Animals

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?

A collie-flower.

Puns

Why do shoemakers go to heaven?

They have great souls.

a close-up of Cap'n Crunch's Crunch Berries® cerealPuns

Did you hear how Cap'n Crunch® died?

Yeah, it was a cereal killer.

Animals

What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals?

A guard dog.

Animals

Why did the whale cross the road?

To get to the other tide.

Puns

How do you measure a millennial?

In Insta-grams.

Family

Why are goats so funny?

They're always kidding around.

Animals

What bird ends up constantly getting hurt?

The owl.

Animals

Why are frogs always happy?

They eat what bugs them.

The Hand?Education

Why can't your hand be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot.