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How do you make antifreeze?
You steal her blanket.
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Puns
Why are boats so bad at asking for forgiveness?
They harbor resentment.
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Education
Why shouldn't you trust atoms?
They make up everything!
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Animals
What do you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant?
An animal that tells you everything that it remembers.
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Current Events
Who isn't happy to get an Academy Award?
Oscar the grouch.
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People
Why are the Middle Ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?
They had so many knights.
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Animals
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
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Political
What building always gets stains on it?
The White House.
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Puns
Why do people love getting letters from astronauts?
They have the best space stationery.
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Holiday
Why was Santa's little helper embarrassed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
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Puns
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
It was outstanding in its field.
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Professional
Where does a veterinarian's husband sleep when they're fighting?
In the dog house.
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Animals
What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?
A beer-a-cuda.
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Animals
What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
An alarm cluck.
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Current Events
Why was the spring storm in a great mood?
It was on cloud nine!
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Holiday
What do you call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate clauses.
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Music
What do you call berries playing the guitar?
A jam session.
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