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How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

Rename the mail folder to Instruction Manuals.

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Holiday

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?

Bam-BOO!

Family

What type of school do kids beg to go to during the summertime?

Sundae School.

Animals

What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?

They go on peck-nics.

Puns

Why did the unwashed chicken cross the road twice?

Because he was a dirty double-crosser.

People

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?

Missiletoe.

People

Which celebrity always frowns?

Simon Scowl.

Animals

What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?

Frostbite.

Professional

What kind of money do fishermen make?

Net profits.

Scrabble road?Entertainment

Board Game With A Twist

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble on the road. I asked him, "What's the word on the street?"

The pterodactyl?Animals

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

Because the "P" is silent.

Animals

Why did the cat sleep with a fan on?

He wanted to be a cool cat.

Education

Which letter is the sleepiest in the alphabet?

E, because it's always in bed.

Puns

What did the clean dog say to the insect?

Long time, no flea.

The peppers?Food & Drinks

What do nosey peppers do?

They get jalapeño business!

Sports

Why couldn't the skateboard pass math class?

It just couldn't get a handle on it.

People

What did the rock say when someone called it a flower?

No, 'emma stone!