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How do you find where a flea has bitten you?

Start from scratch.

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Animals

What animal has 20/20 vision?

A see-lion.

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Animals

What's the biggest moth in the world?

A mammoth.

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Food & Drinks

What is the loneliest cheese?

Prov-alone.

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Holiday

Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?

Because it "soots" him.

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Vehicles

What car always breaks the rules?

A Nissan Rogue.

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Holiday

Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?

Because the angel said, "No L!"

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Outdoors

How do trees get access to the internet?

Easy, they just log in.

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Puns

If you had to vote which one is faster, would you choose hot or cold?

Hot! Because you can definitely catch a cold.

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Sports

What's the loudest sport?

Racket-ball.

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Puns

What did the clean dog say to the insect?

Long time, no flea.

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Animals

Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle?

Because of all the cheetahs.

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Puns

What's the saddest part of the week?

Monday mourning.

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Animals

Why didn't the dog speak to his foot?

Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw.

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Holiday

What is the best Christmas present ever?

A broken drum-you can't beat it.

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Food & Drinks

Why do we never tell jokes about pizza?

They're too cheesy.

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Construction?Professional

Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.

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