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How do mice celebrate when they move home?

Mouse warming party.

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Professional

What did the lawyer name his daughter?

Sue.

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Sports

Where do spiders play their FA Cup final?

Webley stadium.

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Puns

What do snowmen wear on their heads?

Ice caps.

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Puns

What do you find at the end of everything?

The letter G.

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Holiday

What do you call Santa's Helpers?

Subordinate clauses.

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Travel

Where do optometrists go on vacation?

Eye-celand!

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The Umpire?Sports

What's the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire?

One steals watches and one watches steals.

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Food & Drinks

What do you call a noodle in disguise?

Impasta.

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Animals

Why can't dogs operate MRI machines?

I don't know, but catscan.

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Holiday

What does a caterpillar do on New Years Day?

Turns over a new leaf.

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Animals

What do bees chew?

Bumble gum.

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a pretty sunrise over the ocean and beachOutdoors

What song does the horizon sing every morning?

Here comes the sun!

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People

Did you hear about the vacuum cleaner that can cut your housework in half?

I bought two.

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Puns

Why should you be worried about the calendar?

Its days are numbered.

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Animals

What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.

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Family

What did the antelope husband call his wife?

Deer.

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