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How do mice celebrate when they move home?

Mouse warming party.

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Professional

What did the lawyer name his daughter?

Sue.

Sports

Where do spiders play their FA Cup final?

Webley stadium.

Puns

What do snowmen wear on their heads?

Ice caps.

Puns

What do you find at the end of everything?

The letter G.

Holiday

What do you call Santa's Helpers?

Subordinate clauses.

Travel

Where do optometrists go on vacation?

Eye-celand!

The Umpire?Sports

What's the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire?

One steals watches and one watches steals.

Food & Drinks

What do you call a noodle in disguise?

Impasta.

Animals

Why can't dogs operate MRI machines?

I don't know, but catscan.

Holiday

What does a caterpillar do on New Years Day?

Turns over a new leaf.

a pretty sunrise over the ocean and beachOutdoors

What song does the horizon sing every morning?

Here comes the sun!

People

Did you hear about the vacuum cleaner that can cut your housework in half?

I bought two.

Puns

Why should you be worried about the calendar?

Its days are numbered.

Animals

What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.

Family

What did the antelope husband call his wife?

Deer.