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How do billboards talk?
Sign language.
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Outdoors
Where do termites go camping?
A tented house.
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Animals
Which bear always goes to timeout for being condescending to other bears?
A pan-duh!
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Animals
Why was the chameleon such a good cashier?
It knew how to quickly make change.
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Animals
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because the chicken didn't exist yet.
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Food & Drinks
Why does the orange always lose in races?
It runs out of juice.
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Animals
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
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Entertainment
What does Catwoman always carry with her?
Her purrrse.
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Puns
How do you find where a flea has bitten you?
Start from scratch.
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Holiday
What did Santa bring the naughty soccer player?
COOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!
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Animals
What is a bunny's favorite dance?
The lindy hop.
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Animals
What is another name for a cow?
A lawn-mooer.
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Animals
What do you call a nutty dog in Australia?
A dingo-ling.
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People
What do people call Arnold Schwarzenegger in retirement?
The Exterminator.
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Puns
What do you get if you cross a pile of mud with a pig?
A groundhog.
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Puns
What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?
This one will sleigh you.
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Family
What's it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?
Daughter: "Mom, what's it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?" Mom: "I don't know ask your grandmother."
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