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How did the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?

Dead-lifting.

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Animals

What do you call a kangaroo's lazy joey?

Pouch potato.

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Animals

What did one firefly say to the other?

Got to glow now!

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Sports

What part of a football field is never the same?

The changing rooms.

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Puns

What part of your eye learns the quickest?

The pupil.

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Outdoors

Why do trees have so many friends?

They branch out.

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Puns

Do you have the best ceiling?

No, but it's up there.

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Food & Drinks

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There's no menu, you just get what you deserve.

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Puns

Where would you put an injured insect?

In an antbulance.

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Holiday

What did the ghost eat at his birthday party?

I scream.

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a close-up of a Rocky Mountain elk while it snowsPuns

Why did the elk have great hair?

It used a lot of moose.

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Education

How many letters are there in the alphabet?

Twenty-four, because E.T. went home.

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Vehicles

What do donkeys take to go to the store?

A horse and buggy.

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Puns

What is an insect's favorite game?

Cricket.

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Animals

Why could no one recognize the sheep?

He had a goatee.

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Food & Drinks

How does a cucumber turn into a pickle?

It goes through a jarring experience.

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Holiday

Where do ghosts prefer to swim?

Lake Eerie.

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