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How did the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?

Dead-lifting.

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Animals

What do you call a kangaroo's lazy joey?

Pouch potato.

Animals

What did one firefly say to the other?

Got to glow now!

Sports

What part of a football field is never the same?

The changing rooms.

Puns

What part of your eye learns the quickest?

The pupil.

Outdoors

Why do trees have so many friends?

They branch out.

Puns

Do you have the best ceiling?

No, but it's up there.

Food & Drinks

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There's no menu, you just get what you deserve.

Puns

Where would you put an injured insect?

In an antbulance.

Holiday

What did the ghost eat at his birthday party?

I scream.

a close-up of a Rocky Mountain elk while it snowsPuns

Why did the elk have great hair?

It used a lot of moose.

Education

How many letters are there in the alphabet?

Twenty-four, because E.T. went home.

Vehicles

What do donkeys take to go to the store?

A horse and buggy.

Puns

What is an insect's favorite game?

Cricket.

Animals

Why could no one recognize the sheep?

He had a goatee.

Food & Drinks

How does a cucumber turn into a pickle?

It goes through a jarring experience.

Holiday

Where do ghosts prefer to swim?

Lake Eerie.