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How did the vampire start his letter?

Tomb it may concern...

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Political

Why did the senator bring cookies to the congress session?

He heard they were working on treat-ies.

Education

Why did the student eat their homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Education

What do you call a pencil that has two erasers?

Pointless.

Animals

Why couldn't the leopard hide?

He was always spotted.

Animals

What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse?

The Codfather.

Outdoors

What's another term for a sleeping bag?

A nap sack.

Outdoors

Where does a camper keep his money?

In a river bank.

Holiday

Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?

He wanted to sleep like a log.

hide and seek?Animals

Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?

Because he was always spotted.

Food & Drinks

Why was Billy fired from the banana shop?

He wouldn't stop throwing away the bent ones.

Animals

Why did the turkey cross the road?

To prove he wasn't chicken.

Inventing fractions?Education

Who invented fractions?

Henry the 1/8th.

Puns

What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis.

Food & Drinks

What pasta is always ready for a formal event?

Bow tie.

Animals

What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals?

A guard dog.

Animals

What do you call a golden retriever at the beach in July?

A hot dog.