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How did the farmer fix his torn overalls?

With a cabbage patch.

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Puns

My friend told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo.

So I had to put my foot down!

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Sports

What dish does only a baseball player use?

The home plate.

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Animals

Why did the doctor let his dog help with his patients?

Because he had a lab coat.

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Holiday

Why is April the cleanest month of all?

Spring cleaning!

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Animals

Why does a duck have tail feathers?

To cover its butt-quack.

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Animals

What do you call a kangaroo's lazy joey?

Pouch potato.

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Puns

What kind of shoes do robots wear during the winter?

Roboots.

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Animals

What did the wasp do when he got hot?

He took off his yellow jacket.

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Puns

Why do piggy banks give the best advice?

Because they're filled with so much common cents.

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Animals

Where do baby cats learn to swim?

The kitty pool.

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Animals

How does a polar bear build a house?

Igloos it together.

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Holiday

What does one Valentine's Day card say to another that is physically fit?

You're from good cardstock.

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Professional

What day of the week takes nothing seriously?

Casual Friday.

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bird drinking?Animals

How many beers does it take to get a tropical bird drunk?

Toucans!

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Food & Drinks

How does dinner smell?

Through its nose.

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Holiday

What was Cleopatra's favorite day of the year?

Mummy's Day.

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