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How did the farmer fix his torn overalls?

With a cabbage patch.

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Puns

My friend told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo.

So I had to put my foot down!

Sports

What dish does only a baseball player use?

The home plate.

Animals

Why did the doctor let his dog help with his patients?

Because he had a lab coat.

Holiday

Why is April the cleanest month of all?

Spring cleaning!

Animals

Why does a duck have tail feathers?

To cover its butt-quack.

Animals

What do you call a kangaroo's lazy joey?

Pouch potato.

Puns

What kind of shoes do robots wear during the winter?

Roboots.

Animals

What did the wasp do when he got hot?

He took off his yellow jacket.

Puns

Why do piggy banks give the best advice?

Because they're filled with so much common cents.

Animals

Where do baby cats learn to swim?

The kitty pool.

Animals

How does a polar bear build a house?

Igloos it together.

Holiday

What does one Valentine's Day card say to another that is physically fit?

You're from good cardstock.

Professional

What day of the week takes nothing seriously?

Casual Friday.

bird drinking?Animals

How many beers does it take to get a tropical bird drunk?

Toucans!

Food & Drinks

How does dinner smell?

Through its nose.

Holiday

What was Cleopatra's favorite day of the year?

Mummy's Day.