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How did the farmer fix his torn overalls?
With a cabbage patch.
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Puns
My friend told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo.
So I had to put my foot down!
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Sports
What dish does only a baseball player use?
The home plate.
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Animals
Why did the doctor let his dog help with his patients?
Because he had a lab coat.
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Holiday
Why is April the cleanest month of all?
Spring cleaning!
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Animals
Why does a duck have tail feathers?
To cover its butt-quack.
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Animals
What do you call a kangaroo's lazy joey?
Pouch potato.
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Puns
What kind of shoes do robots wear during the winter?
Roboots.
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Animals
What did the wasp do when he got hot?
He took off his yellow jacket.
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Puns
Why do piggy banks give the best advice?
Because they're filled with so much common cents.
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Animals
Where do baby cats learn to swim?
The kitty pool.
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Animals
How does a polar bear build a house?
Igloos it together.
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Holiday
What does one Valentine's Day card say to another that is physically fit?
You're from good cardstock.
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Professional
What day of the week takes nothing seriously?
Casual Friday.
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Animals
How many beers does it take to get a tropical bird drunk?
Toucans!
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Food & Drinks
How does dinner smell?
Through its nose.
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Holiday
What was Cleopatra's favorite day of the year?
Mummy's Day.
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