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How did the coach get his quarterback?

He went to the bank.

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a woman wearing an orange sweater is yelling into a megaphonePeople

Which celebrity has the loudest scream?

Pierce Brosnan.

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The Umpire?Sports

What's the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire?

One steals watches and one watches steals.

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Puns

What's a henway?

About ten pounds.

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Puns

Why does the photon not need a suitcase?

Because it's traveling light.

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Sports

Which goalkeeper can jump higher than a crossbar?

All of them, a crossbar can't jump.

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Entertainment

Where did Captain Hook purchase his hook?

At the local second-hand store.

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Cowbells?Animals

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

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Entertainment

Why does Snoop Dogg always have an umbrella with him?

Fo' drizzle.

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a close-up of a colorful, tropical ParrotfishPuns

What do naked fish play with?

Bare-a-cudas.

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Puns

What do clouds do as soon as they make money?

Make it rain.

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Puns

What did the baby chick say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?

Dad, dad, look what marma-laid!

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Entertainment

Who is a pig's favorite Star Wars character?

Ham Solo.

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Current Events

Who do insects see to get their taxes done?

An account-ant.

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a view looking up through green trees in a forest with the sun shining throughOutdoors

Why are trees so good at interior design?

They know how to Spruce a place up.

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a basketball player dunks a basketball in a net in a dimly lit courtSports

What do you call oxygen and carbon dioxide playing basketball together?

Airball.

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Puns

Why is money so stubborn?

It doesn't want to make change.

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