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How are you liking that anti-gravity book?

It's impossible to put down!

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Professional

My boss instructed me to set up the company's 401k.

I told her I don't think anyone on the team can run that far.

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a person eating popcorn sits on their couch and pauses the show they're watching with a remote controlVehicles

What's a car's favorite TV show?

Law and Order SUV.

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Holiday

What do you call Santa's Helpers?

Subordinate clauses.

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Animals

What do chickens serve at birthday parties?

Coop-cakes.

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two spotted piglets sleep next to each other in the hayAnimals

Where do pigs sleep during the summer?

In a ham-mock.

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Animals

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

He heard the referee calling fowls.

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Puns

Imagine you're in a room with no windows and no doors, how do you get out?

Stop imagining.

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Animals

What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment?

A flat fish.

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Food & Drinks

What's a horse's favorite fruit?

Straw-berries.

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a man holds his hand up to his ear and appears to be shocked while listeningPuns

When you die, what part of the body dies last?

The pupils... they dilate.

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dentist appointment?Professional

What time is your dentist appointment?

Tooth hurt-y.

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Animals

What do bees chew?

Bumble gum.

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Peter Pan?People

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

He neverlands.

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Puns

What is a pig's favorite ballet?

Swine Lake.

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Outdoors

Where do logs like to go on hikes?

The woods.

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a tower of school supplies is teetering over against a turquoise backgroundAnimals

What constantly moves forward but never learns anything?

A school of fish.

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