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How are you liking that anti-gravity book?

It's impossible to put down!

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Professional

My boss instructed me to set up the company's 401k.

I told her I don't think anyone on the team can run that far.

a person eating popcorn sits on their couch and pauses the show they're watching with a remote controlVehicles

What's a car's favorite TV show?

Law and Order SUV.

Holiday

What do you call Santa's Helpers?

Subordinate clauses.

Animals

What do chickens serve at birthday parties?

Coop-cakes.

two spotted piglets sleep next to each other in the hayAnimals

Where do pigs sleep during the summer?

In a ham-mock.

Animals

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

He heard the referee calling fowls.

Puns

Imagine you're in a room with no windows and no doors, how do you get out?

Stop imagining.

Animals

What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment?

A flat fish.

Food & Drinks

What's a horse's favorite fruit?

Straw-berries.

a man holds his hand up to his ear and appears to be shocked while listeningPuns

When you die, what part of the body dies last?

The pupils... they dilate.

dentist appointment?Professional

What time is your dentist appointment?

Tooth hurt-y.

Peter Pan?People

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

He neverlands.

Puns

What is a pig's favorite ballet?

Swine Lake.

Outdoors

Where do logs like to go on hikes?

The woods.

a tower of school supplies is teetering over against a turquoise backgroundAnimals

What constantly moves forward but never learns anything?

A school of fish.