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Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There's no menu, you just get what you deserve.

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Puns

How are you liking that anti-gravity book?

It's impossible to put down!

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The Politician?Political

What's the difference between a politician and a snail?

One is slimy, a pest, and leaves a trail everywhere and the other is a snail.

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Food & Drinks

What do you call a long line of people waiting for their hotdog?

A barbequeue.

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Sports

Why do Olympians never overheat?

Because they have a lot of fans.

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Puns

What did the rug say to the floor?

I've got you covered.

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Entertainment

What superhero often gets mistaken for photography equipment?

The Flash.

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Science

What do you call a dog in space?

Astromutt.

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Puns

What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger with an insect?

The Masked-quito.

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Entertainment

What do you call it when Batman skips church?

Christian Bale.

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Animals

What do you call a famous turtle?

A shellebrity.

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Sports

Why do Olympians never overheat?

Because they have a lot of fans.

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Animals

What do you call a happy Lassie?

A jolly collie.

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Music

What's a chiropractor's favorite genre of music?

Hip pop.

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Animals

What do you call the pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

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Animals

What do you call a parrot making fun of you?

A mockingbird.

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Animals

Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple?

Because everyone had to go on in pairs.

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