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Did you hear the joke about the roof?

Never mind, it's over your head.

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Puns

What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.

Animals

Why can't dogs operate MRI machines?

I don't know, but catscan.

Puns

Why didn't the lamp sink in the water?

Because it was too light.

Food & Drinks

What kind of friends should you take to dinner?

Your taste buds.

Animals

What do you call the dog magician?

A labra-cadabra.

Family

What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to sweep!

Animals

What bird shouldn't drink coffee?

A buzz-ard.

Holiday

What do you get when you cross a bell with a skunk?

Jingle smells.

Education

Where do you go when you need an excuse to get out of something?

A lie-brary.

Animals

What do you call a cow that just gave birth?

Decalfeinated.

Puns

Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag?

They can lighten your load.

Vehicles

What car doesn't seem to go anywhere?

A stationary wagon.

various dry beans in sack cloth bagsPuns

Why do legumes gossip so much?

They want to spill the beans.

a person is serving food from a colorful Indian food buffetAnimals

What animal loves Indian food?

A dal-matian.

Puns

What is a pig's favorite ballet?

Swine Lake.

Food & Drinks

What do fairies always drink?

Sprite.