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Did you hear about the power outlet who got into a fight with a power cord?

He really thought he could socket to him.

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Sports

Did you hear the joke about the football game with the 0-0 score?

Never mind, it's pointless.

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Animals

How is cat food sold?

Usually purr can.

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Professional

What kind of gift do you get for the World's Best Dentist?

A little plaque.

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Entertainment

What is Homer Simpson's favorite ice cream?

Chocolate chip cookie DOH!

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Holiday

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?

Bam-BOO!

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Current Events

What do they say when a basketball player loses his mind?

He has a case of March Madness.

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Professional

Why was the mime upset?

Someone called her a clown.

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People

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

Rename the mail folder to Instruction Manuals.

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Family

What do dads love to eat after dinner?

Pop-corn.

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Outdoors

How do trees get access to the internet?

Easy, they just log in.

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various dry beans in sack cloth bagsPuns

Why do legumes gossip so much?

They want to spill the beans.

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Animals

What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?

A beer-a-cuda.

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astronaut spaced?Travel

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

Turns out he just needs some space!

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Puns

What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on?

A horse.

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a man is smiling while taking a picture Professional

Why did the photographer attract so many mice?

She was always saying cheese.

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Animals

What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?

Rough Rough!

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