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Did you hear about the famous pickle?

He was a big dill.

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Outdoors

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick.

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Family

Why are cause and effect so close?

They're related.

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Holiday

How is a sofa like a Thanksgiving turkey?

Because they're both full of stuffing.

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Professional

What did the NSA employee say when her friend tried to tell her a new joke?

Heard it.

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Puns

Knock knock. Who's there? Euripides. Euripides who?

Euripides things, you buy them!

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Puns

What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.

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Puns

How do you measure a millennial?

In Insta-grams.

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Food & Drinks

Did you hear about the famous pickle?

He was a big dill.

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Animals

What do you call a pig's sore eye?

A pig-stye.

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Sports

Where do spiders play their FA Cup final?

Webley stadium.

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Vehicles

What car can you only see twice a year?

A Chevy Equinox.

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Sports

What did they call Dracula when he won the league?

The champire.

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Professional

What day of the week takes nothing seriously?

Casual Friday.

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Entertainment

What do you call a nearsighted cowboy?

Squint Eastwood.

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Animals

What did one firefly say to the other?

Got to glow now!

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Puns

What do you give a pony with a cold?

Cough stirrup.

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