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What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment?

A flat fish.

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Holiday

What do birds serve on Halloween?

Tweets.

Music

What's a balloon's least favorite type of music?

Pop.

Animals

Where do frogs keep their money?

In a river bank.

Animals

What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken?

He kicked the bucket.

Sports

What runs around a baseball field but stays still at the same time?

A fence.

Animals

What do you call a lion who has eaten your mother's sister?

An aunt-eater.

Food & Drinks

Why couldn't the pepper go to archery practice?

It didn't habanero.

Puns

What do you give a pony with a cold?

Cough stirrup.

Food & Drinks

What do you call a noodle in disguise?

Impasta.

Sports

What do a baseball team and a baker have in common?

They need a good batter!

Holiday

Why is April the cleanest month of all?

Spring cleaning!

an elegant, lavish bedroom decorated in various shades of cream and ivoryPuns

What do you call a rich person's bedroom?

A gold mine.

Holiday

What was Cleopatra's favorite day of the year?

Mummy's Day.

Education

Why was school so much easier for cavemen?

There was no history class.

a close-up of a person filling out a multiple-choice test card with an alarm clock sitting nearbyVehicles

Which vehicle did the best on its SATs?

The Smart Car.

Outdoors

Why couldn't the boxer make it in stand-up comedy?

He didn't have the right hook.