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What do you get if you cross a pile of mud with a pig?

A groundhog.

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The Umpire?Sports

What's the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire?

One steals watches and one watches steals.

Sports

What's a decade's favorite sport?

Tennis.

Puns

Which fish go to heaven when they die?

Angelfish.

Sports

Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?

Because he liked sole music.

two Basset hounds wearing sunglasses and ties sit together in front of a yellow backgroundAnimals

What animal dresses the most fashionably?

A hip-po.

Animals

What's a glow worm's favorite song?

Wake me up before you glow glow.

Sports

Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?

Because he liked sole music.

Professional

Why was the mime upset?

Someone called her a clown.

Food & Drinks

Why was the chip acting so goofy?

He was a cheese-ball.

a man is scratching his head with a puzzled look on his faceEntertainment

What's both a number one hit and a total failure?

A Blockbuster.

The Toothpaste?Music

What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

Food & Drinks

What do fairies always drink?

Sprite.

Puns

Why did the lizard go on a diet?

It weighed too much for its scales.

Soccer referees?Sports

What do soccer referees send during the holidays?

Yellow cards.

Animals

What do you call the hen that regularly counts her eggs?

A mathmachicken.

Puns

What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.