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What do you get if you cross a pile of mud with a pig?

A groundhog.

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The Umpire?Sports

What's the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire?

One steals watches and one watches steals.

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Sports

What's a decade's favorite sport?

Tennis.

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Puns

Which fish go to heaven when they die?

Angelfish.

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Sports

Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?

Because he liked sole music.

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two Basset hounds wearing sunglasses and ties sit together in front of a yellow backgroundAnimals

What animal dresses the most fashionably?

A hip-po.

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Animals

What's a glow worm's favorite song?

Wake me up before you glow glow.

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Sports

Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?

Because he liked sole music.

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Professional

Why was the mime upset?

Someone called her a clown.

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Food & Drinks

Why was the chip acting so goofy?

He was a cheese-ball.

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a man is scratching his head with a puzzled look on his faceEntertainment

What's both a number one hit and a total failure?

A Blockbuster.

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The Toothpaste?Music

What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

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Food & Drinks

What do fairies always drink?

Sprite.

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Puns

Why did the lizard go on a diet?

It weighed too much for its scales.

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Soccer referees?Sports

What do soccer referees send during the holidays?

Yellow cards.

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Animals

What do you call the hen that regularly counts her eggs?

A mathmachicken.

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Puns

What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.

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