What do you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant?

An animal that tells you everything that it remembers.

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Entertainment

What is sand's favorite movie?

Dune.

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Holiday

What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Polish.

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Animals

What do you call a famous turtle?

A shellebrity.

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Professional

What day of the week takes nothing seriously?

Casual Friday.

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Holiday

Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble?

Comet cleans sinks.

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Animals

What dinosaur would win the track gold medal at the Olympics?

The Prontosaurus.

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Puns

What happened to the glow worm who was squashed?

He was de-lighted.

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Sports

Where do catchers sit at lunch?

Behind the plate.

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Holiday

Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?

Because it "soots" him.

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Puns

Why did the pig go to the casino?

To play the slop machine.

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Animals

What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?

"Odor in the court!"

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Puns

What's the saddest part of the week?

Monday mourning.

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a close-up of a bottle of aspirin spilled on a red surface

Puns

Why did the window need an aspirin?

To relieve a glass pane.

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Outdoors

Why did everyone want to be near the volcano?

Because it's just so lava-ble.

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Music

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't tunafish.

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Animals

Where do ants go to eat?

At a restaurant.

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Funny Editor

What do you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant?

An animal that tells you everything that it remembers.

Looking for a specific joke?

What is sand's favorite movie?

Dune.

What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Polish.

What do you call a famous turtle?

A shellebrity.

What day of the week takes nothing seriously?

Casual Friday.

Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble?

Comet cleans sinks.

What dinosaur would win the track gold medal at the Olympics?

The Prontosaurus.

What happened to the glow worm who was squashed?

He was de-lighted.

Where do catchers sit at lunch?

Behind the plate.

Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?

Because it "soots" him.

Why did the pig go to the casino?

To play the slop machine.

What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?

"Odor in the court!"

What's the saddest part of the week?

Monday mourning.

Why did the window need an aspirin?

To relieve a glass pane.

Why did everyone want to be near the volcano?

Because it's just so lava-ble.

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't tunafish.

Where do ants go to eat?

At a restaurant.