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Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Of course, houses can't jump.

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Animals

What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?

A beer-a-cuda.

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Puns

What is dry on the outside, filled with water, and blows up buildings?

A fish tank.

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priest lawyer?Family

What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer?

A Father-In-Law!

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People

Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?

Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

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Animals

What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear?

A petticoat.

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Current Events

What's a worm's favorite holiday?

Earth Day.

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Outdoors

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick.

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Puns

What's a shoemaker's favorite dessert?

Cobbler.

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Sports

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

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Animals

Why did the cat frown when she passed the hen house?

Because she heard fowl language.

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Puns

Which state is the cleanest?

Washing-ton.

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Outdoors

What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?

A nervous wreck.

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Holiday

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

Because he didn't have the guts.

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People

What's a pirate's favorite letter?

You may think it's R, but it's really the C that they love.

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Animals

What is a French cat's favorite pudding?

Chocolate mousse.

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Education

What's chips and guac's favorite constellation?

The Big Dipper.

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