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What's the difference between a politician and a snail?
One is slimy, a pest, and leaves a trail everywhere and the other is a snail.
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Sports
What is the difference between baseball and law?
In baseball, if you're caught stealing, you're out.
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Music
Why are stones so good at music?
They're obsessed with rock n' roll!
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Family
How did the baby tell her mom that she had a wet diaper?
She sent her a pee-mail.
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Animals
What do you call a happy Lassie?
A jolly collie.
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Puns
Where do hamsters come from?
Hamsterdam!
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Holiday
What's a mummy's favorite food to eat?
Wraps.
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Outdoors
What flowers rarely depreciate in value?
Mari-golds.
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Outdoors
Why is sand so optimistic?
It has a can-dune attitude.
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Food & Drinks
What do you call a sad latte?
Depresso.
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Professional
Why was the air compressor dripping with sweat?
It had been running all day and night.
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Animals
What did the bee say to the flower?
Hello honey.
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Puns
Why are boats so bad at asking for forgiveness?
They harbor resentment.
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Entertainment
What do you call a musical about a boy who loses his shoe?
Cinderfella.
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Animals
What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
A headbanger.
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Vehicles
Why are Olympians so picky about their vehicles?
They'll only drive a sports car.
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Entertainment
What do you get if you cross a science fiction film with a toad?
Star Warts.
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