Subscribe for more jokes!

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.
Fields marked with an asterisk (*) are required.
By submitting this form, you are agreeing to our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use

What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?

Ribbon hood.

Looking for a specific joke?

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.
Puns

I used to be addicted to not showering.

Luckily, I've been clean for five years.

Current Events

What's a storm cloud's favorite Garth Brooks song?

When the Thunder Rolls.

Professional

Why did the person let a fish perform surgery on them?

He's a great sturgeon.

Food & Drinks

What did the French chef say when he made a mistake?

Oh crepe!

a close-up of a bottle of aspirin spilled on a red surfacePuns

Why did the window need an aspirin?

To relieve a glass pane.

Science

Why did the aerospace engineer have a hard time passing English?

Because it's not rocket science.

Puns

What sound does a witch's car make?

Broom broom!

Animals

Why do spiders always know the answer to everything?

They're very good at finding things on the web.

Puns

What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue?

We have to stick together.

Holiday

What's always playing in Santa's workshop?

Wrap music.

Holiday

What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

Claustrophobia.

Puns

Why did the computer run out of money?

Someone cleaned out its cache.

Puns

How did the mermaid call her friends?

On her shell phone, of course.

Holiday

Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?

He wanted to sleep like a log.

Outdoors

Why did the lawn mower get kicked off the team?

He couldn't make the cut.

Astronaut's baby?Science

How do you stop an astronaut's baby from crying?

You rocket.